June 02, 2009
Today we mourn the loss of Mr. Sandwich. Mr. Sandwich was laid to rest in the Green Memorial Kitchen Trash Can at 6:45 AM Monday morning. Mr. Sandwich was found in a book bag earlier in the day and pronounced dead on the scene. Mr. Sandwich lived to the age of 3 days before dying of natural bacteria. He was buried in two slices of Arnold's OatNut bread with the finest slice of Market Pantry fat-free American cheese that could be bought at Target Supercenter. He was also accessorized with several slices of hard salami deli slices. It is regretful that Mr. Sandwich was never able to experience his dream. Since his birth on Friday morning, he dreamed of swimming in stomach acid and taking a ride through intestines before visiting a waste treatment plant. Mr. Sandwich will be missed. His descendants will be treated to the best experience possible and promptly eaten within hours of creation fulfilling their destiny.
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