Normally every morning before I trek off to work, I play video games for about a half hour. Yesterday I was spending quality time with my wife on the phone (not that kind of quality time ) so I didn't get to play. Given the choice I'd rather talk to my wife, anyway. So, with the limited time I had left before work, I flipped over to G4 to watch the end of G.I. Joe. Here's what I learned in that 10 minutes:

1. When riding in a vehicle, don't wear your seatbelt. That way when a missle hits near your car you will be flung far away from the explosion without getting hurt.
   
   
2. When a missle hits your tank, only the turret will explode initially giving you plenty of time to hop out before the rest explodes. And of course you escape without a scratch.
   
   
3. For no reason whatsoever, a parrot can grow to an enormous size. At this size he can catch a plane that has been shot down with his claw. He can also catch a man falling from the sky. Both the plane and the man are about the same size when compared to the size of the parrot claw.
   
   
4. Cover Girl is drawn a lot hotter now than she was in the 80's