I haven't listened to Cowboy Mouth in almost a month, at least not before last night. I needed something other than sportstalk radio to pump me up for the final, and Cowboy Mouth happened to be in the CD player. The fanaticism I had for the band has dwindled excessively over the past month thanks in part to a terrible concert experience (not necessarily a terrible concert.)

Six weeks ago, Erika and I saw Cowboy Mouth at The Legacy in Tuscaloosa. After that show I was rather bitter about what transpired. I always thought that I was a member of a select group that was close to the band. I frequently participated on the message board and we went to just about every concert within a 3 hour radius to support the band we love. We even drove to Charleston, SC for a Cowboy Mouth "convention" where we saw them 4 times in 4 days. It was a ton of fun and we made two new friends in Mike and Healey. Anytime we saw the band members, they recognized us and chatted with us for a few minutes before and after the shows.

But, for the show in Tuscaloosa, I was snubbed. Not to speak for Erika, but she was snubbed as well. In trying to talk to the band members after the show, we were simply ignored because of the presence of another fan. This particular person has always exhibited an air of most important person on the planet as well as being "close" to the band. Apparently, the band members considered that person more important at the show that night and took the time to talk and present birthday presents to that person. Even though we were standing there next to that person, none of the band members we tried to talk to acknowledged out presence. It was extra stinging that even though some members of the band were told Erika's birthday was forthcoming, her birthday wasn't acknowledged in any way.

Is this a jealousy issue? To some extent I believe so. I thought all of the major fans were on the same level, but apparently, there are higher levels within the group. I pay my money to see the band and buy their shirts and CDs, while the "center of the universe" fan finds a way onto the guest list and contributes nothing to the band. For all of this, I get ignored. Yeah, I'm jealous and a little bitter.

So, why am I mentioning this now? Simply for the sake of trying to let it go. I like the music and the concert experience. I'd love to see another show in order to get this bitter taste out of my mouth, but my driving distance is considerably shorter now. I may have to come to the realization that I'm a regular fan and nothing more.