Ahh, one of the best days of the year is Halloween. I know a lot of people think it's paganistic and such, but I love it. I've always been one for the mythical macabre. Skeletons, zombies, vampires, mummies were always interesting. I guess it has something to do with my whole monster connection. Not sure why but monsters and mythology have always been one of my favorites.

I love the fun of dressing in costume and for one day a year being whatever I want to be. However, I've been very disappointed in the lack of participation on campus. I've seen all of one person dressed up. I guess everyone is waiting for tonight's frat parties. As for myself, I will be enjoying The Nightmare Before Christmas in Digital Disney 3-D tonight instead of going to a party. I've never seen the movie before so I hope it lives up to the excitement I have built up.

You can also see from my profile pic that I've been hard at work enjoying Halloween festivities on-line I spent 30 minutes this morning doing stupid stuff (instead of working) like Simon Says in Guild Wars just to get my pumpkinhead mask. I love the Jack Skellington face in the moon though.

Why is Daylight Savings Time necessary? Has the government not realized that it just doesn't matter any more? It's an annoyance to change the clocks and for what, to see the sun set an hour later than normal? Apparently it isn't necessary if Arizona, Hawaii and Indianapolis can decide whether or not to even honor the time change. I think America cares so little now that the news doesn't even bother to remind us.

Growing up, the week before changing the clocks, every TV station had a quick "ad" to remind everyone how and when to change your clocks. Maybe they don't do that now because you can't spit without hitting an electronic device that thinks for itself. My computer didn't even bother to tell me that it had changed my clock as I wandered around myspace early Sunday morning.

Let us just enjoy the time we have. As adults, we barely have time to enjoy anything outside. Having the sun set at 7 instead of 8 is really not going to help is it? By 7 o'clock, I'm ready to sit on the couch and watch some TV regardless of where the sun is in the sky.

Why do women wear high heels if they can't walk in them? If your ankle looks like it's made of Jello with every step, you might want to rethink your shoe selection. Unless you are trying to get on a rollercoaster, I don't think it's necessary to be three or four inches taller? I can't imagine it would feel good to walk around with your feet at 45 degree angles.

I prayed this morning it was all a dream. Surely, this could never happen. The rock in my stomach and the throbbing in my head reminded me this was either a painful nightmare or the real thing. I went through the motions to get ready for work, the usual for a Wednesday: shave, shower, feed the pets, get dressed and eat breakfast. There was no Metroid Prime 2 for me this morning although blowing stuff up might have been some good therapy. I quietly ate my honey nut shredded wheat and watched half of a GI Joe cartoon. I wanted to watch the whole thing but I also wanted to leave. I needed to get out.

I got to work a half hour early and have been here ever since. I wonder if that's why the clock seems to be stopped. There's no music today in my office which is really weird. I hate quiet, but I've yet to be motivated to turn on anything. I brought my Cowboy Mouth CDs for therapy, but they sit in the case. I guess I'm just not ready "to be glad to be alive". Odd as it is, I don't even want to listen to Opie and Anthony today. I don't want to laugh. At this point I wonder if I will ever laugh again. Too much melodrama there. I'm sure I will laugh again because I love to laugh, but it will take me a long time to get that sense of humor back.

So I sit here, barely able to keep my eyes open at times. I sit and try to think, but my mind is a blank slate. The only thing I see is WHY? I fake a smile and exchange pleasantries with my coworkers as if nothing is wrong, yet I sit in my office, the door closed, wanting to make the pain disappear. It hides for awhile but then peeks out and jabs me right in the chest.

It will be another week before I can talk to the counselor although I've already called to check for cancellations. Will tomorrow be different? I don't expect any other answers or revelations, but maybe the breaking will stop.

"If I sound above it
I can't sit in judgment
Cause I ain't sure where I'd be sittin
These are all my problems
Lord, I tried to drop them
Cause this ain't how I should be livin

Easy to bitch
Easy to whine
Easy to moan
Easy to cry
Easy to feel like there ain't nothing in your life
(Life)

Harder to work
Harder to strive
Harder to be glad to be alive
But its really worth it if you give it a try"

Depressed, infuriated, agonizing, confused, heartbroken, dejected, pained, sad, wishful, helpless, frustrated, irritated, maddened, mourning, devastated, disappointed, nauseous, disgusted

Why oh why did this have to happen? This was to be the year, the year the Mets won it all. How long before the pain goes away? I don't know if I can wait another year. Can we just do that last at-bat over? Beltran, do you think you could swing at that belt-high fastball this time? *sigh* The sun will rise tomorrow and all will be forgotten in due time, just not very soon. If Alabama wins Saturday that will help but not enough.

Last night I got to see one of my favorite bands...Everclear. I had only seen them one time in concert and they were opening for Sugar Ray and Matchbox 20. There's just something about angst and bitterness that makes for excellent music.

The show started off with three hits: So Much for the Afterglow, You make Me Feel Like a Whore and AM Radio. From there the show slowed down as they played their new single Hater and an older song that I didn't recognize. I think it was Fire Maple Song. The show took an acoustic turn as the band played Songs From an American Movie, Vol. 1. It was Art's mom's birthday so he got everyone to sing Happy Birthday to her. She died in February and it was the first birthday he was without her. It was obvious he was a little choked up. Art finished up with another acoustic song that I don't remember.

After the acoustic break, the band started with another single off of the new album, Glorious. Everclear then went into "hit mode" playing Everything to Everyone, Wonderful, When It All Goes Wrong Again, I Will Buy You a New Life and Santa Monica. The encore included Heroin Girl and Father of Mine followed by a second encore where the band covered 867-5309/Jenny. The cover was not particularly good even with all the girls on stage dancing. Let's just say Everclear didn't bring out the best of Tuscaloosa women.

The most disappointing part of the night was the lack of participation and enthusiasm by the crowd. Until Everclear got to the radio songs, most of the people were just standing there like dopes. No cheering, no dancing, no nothing. It wasn't until I Will Buy You a New Life that the crowd got rowdy and stayed there for the rest of the show.

It wasn't Cowboy Mouth, but it was still a good show. Too bad the audience drained some of the energy out of the show.

I thought those annoying flash ads/games couldn't get worse, but I was so wrong. The one I just saw (on Myspace mo less) was "Outfart the Gorilla". I do not need a ringtone bad enough to play a game called Outfart the Gorilla. Are companies hiring high school kids to make their ads now? In order to win, a little note at the top said "Participation required". What do you want me to do, eat a bowl of chili? Are you bringing the gorilla over to test my flatulant skills? Geez.

Why is it that when anything happens, it's suspected at first to be terrorists? It's very sad that the plane crashed into the apartment building in New York yesterday, but why is the first thought terrorism? Why would terrorists target a random apartment building? Wouldn't they go after targets of more importance like the White House? If it were terrorists, wouldn't they use something bigger than a small personal plane or a helicopter as it was first believed? Maybe I would think differently if I had lived in New York during 9/11, but unless I see a mushroom cloud or a really big explosion in general, there's no reason for me to think it's terrorism.

It's a wonder that more people on campus aren't maimed or killed every year just by crossing the street. Just because walking in a crosswalk gives you the right of way, it doesn't give you the right to be stupid. If the orange hand is lit, then don't walk. It's a pretty easy concept; you don't even have to read. If there is no signal and you are standing at a crosswalk, please look before you cross. Just because there are white bars across the road doesn't mean that cars instantly stop. If you step right out in front of a car, your right of way is going to land you on your ass or in the front seat of the car. For some reason, people think that several tons of steel can instantly stop at a crosswalk.

KFC is now selling gizzard meals. Who thought this was a good idea? Are gizzards a delicacy to some people? What's next, Rocky Mountain oysters at Captain D's?

This past weekend, Erika and I went to Atlanta for a nice weekend getaway. The main reason for going was to see some hockey (Nashville Predators vs. Atlanta Thrashers) at Phillips Arena on Friday night. The game was great, but unfortunately the Predators lost in a shootout. The Predators were down early 2-0 but managed to work their way back, eventually gaining a 3-2 lead with just a few minutes left in the game. With 2.4 seconds left in the game, the Thrashers tied it during a 6-on-4 power play. Overtime was exciting and the Thrashers believed they had gotten a last second goal to win, but the goal was waved off.

On Saturday, we headed out to the Georgia Aquarium for a few hours. The aquarium is huge with five different areas to explore. It is quite possible to stay there all day watching all of the fish, rays and whales. The Georgia Aquarium has a massive viewing window 61 feet wide by 23 feet tall that gives everyone a glimpse into life at the Meso American Barrier Reef of Central America. You can watch schools of rays swimming around with other schools of fish and giant groupers. Four huge whale sharks also swim throughout the exhibit, the largest being at 18 feet long. Before going to the viewing room, visitors have to walk through an underwater tunnel. Watching those huge whale shark shadows glide by overhead gave me goosebumps.

After visiting the aquarium (and watching the first half of the Alabama/Florida game) we traveled down to Turner Field to watch the Braves and Astros play. For some reason, it was called obnoxious for wearing my Mets jersey to the park. Hey, I can't help it if the Braves suck and won't make it to the playoffs this year. Why can't I be able to celebrate the Mets breaking Atlanta's 14 year streak of being NL East Champions? I admit, I wore it just to rub it in the Braves' fans faces. It certainly ruffled some of the fans feathers judging by some of the comments from behind me.

The worst thing about the weekend was traffic. It didn't matter where we went or when we went there was always a traffic jam on one of the major interstates. It always seemed to be because of closing down lanes for either no reason or for an accident. On top of that, the traffic patterns after an event is absolutely insane. Coming out of Phillips Arena Friday night, we had to follow a path all around the city to get to I-75/I-85. The traffic Saturday night was the most frustrating experience I've encountered in Atlanta. Coming out of the parking lot at Turner Field, I followed the leader to the Interstate only to find out only one lane turned onto the interstate. I couldn't squeeze in and the cop made me pass the entrance ramp. So, I thought that the easiest thing to do would be to turn around and go back to the entrance ramp. Driving back up, the cop still would not let me enter the entrance ramp. I was forced to drive the long way around only to be able to get on the Interstate going the opposite direction from where I wanted to go. I had to drive several miles down the road before I could even exit. Once I did exit, I couldn't figure out how to get back on in the opposite direction. I eventually stopped at a BP to get directions. Once I made it back to the interstate, I had to sit in game traffic to add to the torture. Finally, over an hour later, we made it back to the hotel.

Atlanta is a fun place to visit, but I will NEVER live there. I can't imagine dealing with that traffic every day. Spending an hour in traffic to go less than 10 miles is absolutely insane.